considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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