I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
