I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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