On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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