Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
