I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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