The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she pinky promised me she was 18
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
