If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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