yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
