So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
