remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
