Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
