i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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