North Korea, Best Korea!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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