He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize