My brain says no but my pants say off.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
