One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
