the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
