I don't usually arrange sex via text message
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
