nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Randomize