so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
