im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
