we're blogging at a bar
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can I color on your dick again?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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