is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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