I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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