I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
