Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
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