Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize