I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love you.
Bad choice
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
