If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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