shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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