shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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