Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
