one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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