A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize