KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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