M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
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