no, he came in my armpit
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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