literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize