I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
