Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She just used a chaser for red wine.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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