I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
