I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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