check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
