So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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