i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
