well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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