What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
