Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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