I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
