My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
