So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize