i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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