I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
