Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
