Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
