It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
